Hobo Lore, pt. 1

Have you ever thought about hoboes? The campfires, the box cars, the pork 'n' beans, the railyards, the stubble, and the dirty, soot-covered coats with patches on the elbows?

Different and somehow cooler, more romantic, and more folk hero-esque than mere bums, they are the human embodiment of the word "freewheelin." Hoboes are uniquely American. There's no such thing as a Japanese hobo.

Hoboes evoke the Great Depression, in part because of The Grapes of Wrath, but also just because the economic state of the nation in the 30s made for what was surely The Golden Age of Hoboes. This being said, you should know that there are still hoboes today. They're still out there freighthoppin, slinking around in the shadows of railyards like some kind of mystical, old timey American leprechaun. I live near a big railyard, but sadly I have yet to see one. I will one day.

There is a thriving and sizeable folklore, mystique, and subculture surrounding hoboes today. Over the course of the next few posts, we will examine it.

Let's start with this: "700 Hobo Names" by John Hodgman. Though my general fascination with hobos has been around for many years (probably dating back to what might have been my first, most adorable, and maybe most brilliant, grade school Halloween costume), today's post was inspired by the work of genius that is "700 Hobo Names." It is what it says . . . 700 hobo names. Read aloud with spare guitar accompaniment. You could call it a spoken word poem, but it's far, far funnier and far, far less pretentious than that. It's almost an hour long. Some samples - -

#35 Horace "the Bird-headed Fool"
#47 Dr. Bill Stainchin, "The Boxcar Medic"
#53 J.R. Lintstockings
#55 Iron Trousers The Strong
#63 Lil Jonny Songbird, "The Songbird Eater"
#90 Chicken Nugget Will
#165 Commodore 64
#190 Crane T. Eyebrowsmeller
#200 Gravy-belly Dunston
#321 Half-albino Alejandro
#322 Gluttonous Slim
#379 St. Sorryass
#388 Huge Crybaby McWeepy
#389 Poo-knickers Elias
#466 Damian Pitchfork, "The Freightyard Satan"
#472 Ashen Merle Buzzard
#487 Transistor-ized Maximillian, "The Hobo Cyborg"
#547 Myron Biscuitsbeard, "The Dumpster Archaeologist"
#656 Wise Solomon Baby-splitter
#688 Mikey Gluesniff

I listened to the whole thing while driving over the course of a couple days. It is priceless. Someone has started a Flickr set of artist renderings of each hobo name. Check it out here.

Finally today, a hobo song - - Emmylou Harris' cover of the Woody Guthrie classic, "Hobo's Lullaby."
To download, go here, then right click/save as. If the download is slow, try again later.

I love Emmylou. Her voice, all forlorn and hypnotic, is among the most beautiful I have ever heard. Her album, Wrecking Ball, is astounding, but this song, "Hobo's Lullaby," is actually the first thing I ever heard from her. It can be found on Folkways: A Vision Shared (a Tribute to Woody Guthrie and Leadbelly).

Here's the lyrics:

(chorus)
Go to sleep you weary hobo
Let the towns drift slowly by
Can't you hear the steel rails humming?
That's a hobo's lullaby

Do not think about tomorrow
Let tomorrow come and go
Tonight you're in a nice warm boxcar
Safe from all the wind and snow

(chorus)

I know your coats are torn and tattered
And your hair is turning gray
But lift your head and smile at trouble
You'll find peace and rest someday

(chorus)

CHECK BACK SOON FOR MORE HOBO LORE. In the next post: hobo slang, and another hobo song!